By: Brianna

Brianna — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 19:41:08 +0000

Thanks for your tips. I like the specific instruction on how to ask someone to sit down and speak with you–I have tried similar approaches, but have not succeeded in keeping mentors. I tried recently to garner mentoring support from two professors in a grad program where my advisor was pretty much either completely absent (for weeks or even months) but then would come back into town and harangue me about my lack of progress (even when I had made substantial progress he acted as if I was not doing anything). He never agreed to any of my research ideas, and even though it was a PhD project he told me what he wanted me to do instead of letting me develop complementary objectives on top of the originally specified ones (the former is very important for professional development so I kept trying to get his approval even though experts in the field had informed me that the objectives he was insisting I do research for were not scientifically sound (some weren’t even possible) and could lead to a failed project).
At any rate, I was feeling very frustrated. I decided that I should utilize the resources at the university and bounce some ideas off of a few other profs in the program to make sure I was looking at my advisor’s chosen objectives from all angles. When I told my advisor, in a sort of progress update, about my meetings with other profs and the brainstorming I had done, he became angry. When he found out that one of the profs reviewed a pre-proposal I had put together he acted as if I had acted completely inappropriately. Then he had meetings (that I found out about later) with that prof and another one on my doctoral committee. Shortly thereafter, my advisor resigned as my advisor and sent a fairly damning email about me to my entire committee, the Associate Provost and the acting director of my grad program saying essentially that he had to resign as my advisor because I was such a poor student. I hoped the relationships I had formed with the other two profs might help me, but the one couldn’t take me on as a student and the other started saying “Dr. So and So is my friend” when I asked to meet with him. I guess he didn’t know that my former advisor had bad-mouthed him and I wasn’t about to bring that up. I was forced out of the grad program since no other prof would take me on–they claimed many reasons why they could not (no funding, young prof so can’t take risks, old prof and looking to retire, their labs were already too full of grad students, etc.). The program apparently had no responsibility to me even though I was accepted into the program and had done my best to progress professionally.
Sorry, that is a long-winded way of asking, what do I do about the profs I tried to cultivate a professional relationship with? You are correct in saying that mentoring is not a priority even for those who have it in their job description–such as profs. My field is relatively small–in terms of influential contacts and I am about to be unemployed, but despite follow up emails and attempts to schedule meetings, the profs aren’t helping me. Most are uncomfortable at best if I see them around town. My family is telling me not to burn bridges and to try to develop a friendship with the profs who are no longer engaging with me, but I think perhaps that may not be possible. I found out recently that my former advisor has been badmouthing me to his new grad student who is telling other people in the program that I was a crap student and have a lot of issues that almost ruined the project. Other profs have claimed that his assessment of me had nothing to do with their inability to take me on a student, but I can’t help thinking it had some effect.
Some professional advice on how to deal with others who know my former advisor and still be able to find mentors among them would be very appreciated. I am sure you are busy and probably charge for this type of info so I totally understand if you do not respond. Thanks for your time though and again, thanks for your article. I wish more people would focus on the importance of mentoring–it is one of the reasons why I wanted to get my PhD (so that I could become a professor, continue research AND mentor students). Most profs see mentoring as a necessary evil that they do as quickly once or twice a year as they can and then go back to doing their research or attending conferences and getting publications ready. I truly wish that if they have no desire (and even dislike) to mentor, they would not become profs. It can be so detrimental to students and yet there are few or no ramifications for them. Ugh. Sorry, so frustrated. Thanks again!

Comments on: The Marvelous Mentor Mindset and How It Can Help You Succeed

By: Brianna